I was in my doctor's office this morning for a regular OB appointment when a man who works behind the front desk—a lispy, aging-pretty-boy whom I've always found to be slightly bitchy—exclaimed over my appearance: "Look at you! You're getting so big!"
What does a person say to that, when they're 31 weeks pregnant? Other than "No shit, Sherlock", I mean. I nodded vaguely and smiled. "When are you due?" he asked.
"Early February," I said, and that's when he said. It.
"Just one in there then?"
As opposed to six or seven wriggling fetuses, which could clearly be the only explanation for my MONSTROUS GIRTH? I've heard of people saying this sort of thing but come ON. It's not like this guy works at Men's Wearhouse, he presumably sees pregnant women all the time. And while I may have rounded out a little bit somewhat a whole lot recently, come ON. COME ON.
The thing that thankfully made this little Hallmark Moment officially funny as hell, instead of embarrassing and, you know, a little hurtful, was the woman sitting nearby who heard the whole exchange, shot her eyebrows somewhere up in the stratosphere at his comment, and leaned in to me to say, "Girl, he craaaaaaaazy."
People are sometimes so much ruder than you can imagine. I got similar comments constantly when I was prego. I can't even begin to count the number of times I heard "Are you SURE you're not having twins??" or "Wow, I bet your baby is going to be SOOO big." Well guess what... there was just one in there, and he weighed 7 1/2 lbs!! Imagine that....
Posted by: angelo's mom | 12/10/2007 at 08:08 PM
Gah! What a punk! You rock on with your badass pregnant self and just ignore those annoying commenters or, in my case, the random grope-y ladies at work who just come up and touch my pregnant belly whenever they want to!
Posted by: Amy / Girl's Life | 12/10/2007 at 08:12 PM
I also got the "Are you sure there's ONLY one in there" from about month 7 until the end. My least favorite was the time that one of our new hires (I teach a class that's part of the new hire orientation) exclaimed so loudly about how massive I was and surely I couldn't still be over a month away from my due date. Almost as good as the two fellow employees who walked behind me as I gently eased down the hall (I had massive issues with my back for large periods early and late in pregnancy) and made sure to tell me, ha ha, that I sure walked like a pregnant woman.
Gee, thanks, now here's my middle finger.
At least the lady made it somewhat amusing for you and not completely self-esteem killing.
Posted by: Trena | 12/10/2007 at 08:17 PM
Your title reminded me of how, just after my ultrasound, someone at work told me that she knew someone who had been pregnant with twins but one hid the other on the ultrasound, so she didn't know until the birth. I don't know if that was true, but I thought it was a rather mean thing to tell a pregnant woman.
When I was 41.5 weeks pregnant, one of the receptionists at my midwifery practice laughed at my waddle. I was in serious pain because the baby was so low and I was not amused. I would have punched her except I was too tired.
Posted by: Elizabeth | 12/10/2007 at 09:38 PM
For as many women as this has happened to, why are people still saying things like this? Can't we get the word out that such comments are not appreciated???
I heard stuff like that during both of my pregnancies, so I am a little bit sensitive about it.
BTW, you look gorgeous and not too big at all.
Posted by: Mary O | 12/10/2007 at 09:41 PM
People are stupid and insensitive, especially given where he works.
I may have a one-up on you though.
When we went to the hospital to sign my son's birth certificate when he was 5 days old, upon leaving, we were walking out with a nurse. She oohed and aahed and asked "how old?"
When I told her five days, she looked me up and down, took in my swollen, less-than-a-week-after-birth body and said "and you're still carrying?"
I don't need to tell you that my response was a dirty look and a terse "No," which sounded more like "you're a bloody moron."
This from a health-care professional. I hope I never have to go back to that hospital.
Posted by: clarabella | 12/10/2007 at 10:18 PM
Since I hit the beginning of my 3rd trimester, more than 1 butthole has said, "You're about to go/pop any day now, right?" Makes me never wanna leave the sanctuary of my couch + all the snacks that go hand in hand with it.
You're all belly. I've seen your photos. You are no Shamu, honey!
Posted by: biscuit | 12/11/2007 at 04:49 AM
I've heard more than enough of the "too big" comments and at 36 weeks I've decided that the next person who dares to say that kind of thing IS NOT getting a polite answer. And heaven help them if they weigh a bit too much, because then the response will be, "And how many are you carrying? You sure have some extra weight to lug around! I would have mentioned it sooner, but I didn't know that now it was socially acceptable to comment on people weight."
If they're offended they can chalk it up to pregnancy hormones.
Posted by: Ellen | 12/11/2007 at 06:33 AM
I can't believe that he said that! Especially from someone who sees pregnant women on a daily basis. What a moron. And I HATED the "are you sure there is only one in there?" comments.
Posted by: akinvt | 12/11/2007 at 06:50 AM
Oh that SO would have been me... I would have just looked at you and shook my head because dude how can a man know!??! Seriously.
Posted by: Christina | 12/11/2007 at 07:03 AM
I am always amazed by the liberties people take when talking to a pregnant woman.
I was eight months pregnant when I saw my step-grandmother at a wedding, who I hadn't seen in at least 5 years. We hadn't had a chance to talk with all the family mishmash going on until the reception, just after the cake was cut. We exchanged polite greetings and then she leaned in to ask me: "Has the doctor talked to you about your weight?"
So then I ATE HER.
No. Actually, I just smiled awkwardly and said, "No...why would he?"
It just got more awkward from there.
Posted by: amber | 12/11/2007 at 07:55 AM
I get that "more than one" shit all the time, and I think it's horribly rude. People honestly think they're the first ones to come up with such a "clever" comment. I would never comment on someone's size unless I had something positive to say, whether they were pregnant or not.
Posted by: Frema | 12/11/2007 at 09:13 AM
I remember a woman with a 5 month old saying pretty much the same thing to me. "You are *only* 6 months?!? Wow!" I could not believe she would say that.
I ended up telling people my due date was sooner than it really was, just to placate them. Or else, when checkout clerks/shopkeepers would say "Any day now huh?!?" I'd reply with, "yep, could be RIGHT NOW ON YOUR STORE FLOOR!"
Posted by: Christine | 12/11/2007 at 09:39 AM
I had the exact same lines said to me all the time when I was pregnant!
WOW how many babies are in there, you're huge!
Posted by: Eric's Mommy | 12/11/2007 at 09:45 AM
I'm in month nine and people have just started to say it to me, but in alarming numbers! Two or THREE sometimes people guess. It was not like this with my first pregnancy but I am definitely bigger this time and more ungainly. Also I live in the midwest where people just say whatever the hell is on their minds, all the time. My NJ self is constantly on defense.
Posted by: Joanne | 12/11/2007 at 10:03 AM
Hi
Nice and great post.
Posted by: Θεμις Μαντζαβινος | 04/25/2008 at 05:16 AM