Potty talk

I'm always kind of amazed when I read someone's blog where their words seem to have come directly from my own head. Beth's entry today touches on a theme that's awfully familiar to me: I also never went into labor with Riley, and with plans for a scheduled C-section with this baby, I most likely never will. It makes me sad in some ways that I'll have missed out on such an integral part of childbirth, but on the other hand, I'll probably make it through two births without experiencing my greatest fear: pooping on the delivery table.

Of course, there's always the option of barfing during the C-section. Boy, I'm not sure which one is worse. Maybe if you did both at the same time.

ANYWAY, speaking of pooping, my son has started announcing "poop!" while he's, you know, engaged in the act. He doesn't seem to have any desire to scuttle off to some private area or anything, he'll just be in mid-play and suddenly say "poop"--I'll look over, and sure enough, he'll be sort of grunty-looking. Of course, when I ask him if he's pooped, he will deny it all day long: "No. No, no poop." Even when there are visible wavy stink lines wafting from his butt.

So, I've read a lot of the potty training books and helpful pamphlets and so on, but I thought I'd ask you guys, how did you start your kids on the potty? I have a feeling Riley's not quite ready for Hardcore Potty Madness (nor am I, to be perfectly honest), but it seems like it might be time for some baby steps.

Did you just start having them sit on the potty? Naked? What if they don't want to sit there for more than five seconds? Or what if they want to take the circular potty seat and throw it around the bathroom instead?

Comments

[ShannonJ]

OK, well, I've heard boys are different and Josh is only 1, so we're nowhere near this point with him yet. But with Molly, we just started with I guess what would be called "potty familiarity" - we put a little potty in the bathroom and had her sit on it every now and then, usually before bathtime when she was naked so maybe that whole running-water-pee-impulse would kick in (is there a medical term for that?). It worked sometimes. We also used the "Once Upon a Potty" video. There are girl and boy versions. The boy version has the main character Joshua, so it should be fun for us when that time comes for our Josh.

To answer one of your questions, yes, during the first stages, the potty ring was more a playtoy than anything. Here is some serious toddler weirdness - Molly for some reason associated her potty seat with me singing Abba (???) so she would grab it, put it over her shoulder and have me sing Dancing Queen while she shuffled about. I will use that against her someday. As she will me probably.

[divrchk]

I didn't go into labor with my first - scheduled C-Section but I did with my second. I had a VBAC and despite the pain, pooping AND vomiting, it was a great experience and I am so thankful that I was able to have the memories. Are you not able to have a VBAC? Either way, a healthy baby and Mommy are what's important.

[Michelle]

Our daycare lady's foolproof 2 week plan (which definitely worked) - every hour, put them on the potty for a few minutes. (Except when they are sleeping!) Seriously, Patrick was potty trained within a week. Simple, but effective!

[andrea]

I kind of feel like I missed out on the whole going into labor thing having a scheduled induction, but let me tell you, the pain of labor even with some major epidural action is enough to make me think how glorious a c-section could be (except for the pesky recovering from major surgery part).

Call me a bit neurotic but I started putting my son on the potty just before his first birthday. This is only because a) we had it sitting around b)he seemed fascinated by it. My rule has been not to force him into it under any circumstances. He usually sits on it 4-6 times a day and almost always produces either a pee or poop, but I never make him stay on it, he climbs off and on as he likes. It helps to have some favorite toys sitting there or to use the time to read a book with him. I am totally prepared to have set backs but am fully enjoying not having to clean up as many shitty diapers for the time being.

Good luck!

[LeAnne]

My daughter started showing signs that she was ready at 20 months, she just turned 2 and she is completely potty trained (except for the occasional accident)...

I started with using a kitchen timer. Start out setting for 15 minutes. Everytime the timer goes off make a huge deal and get all excited saying "It's POTTY TIME!" Let him sit on the potty as long as he can stand it (might only be a couple seconds). If he goes GREAT, give him a treat (grapes, M&M's, etc). If he doesn't, just seem really excited that he even sat there for a little bit. Continue this every 15 minutes, eventually, he might go!

This worked for my daughter and once that timer went off she'd get excited to sit on the potty and went every once and a while. Once she got the hang of it, we just increased the time to 30 - 45 - 60 minutes (eventually she went every single time she sat on the potty). I think the trick is the timer, it's kind of like pavlov's dogs ;-) Also, I didn't give her a treat every single time, I'd alternate between M&M's and just good ole praise.

I highly suggest starting this on a weekend or some other time when you can devote yourself completely to this - it's kind of tiring after a while, but it works!

[Felicia]

ah, pooping on the delivery table is actually a positive sign, because it means that you are pushing correctly and the baby is moving down (thus forcing the poop out). Trust me, L&D nurses have seen WAY grosser things than that. They just wipe it away quickly and quietly. Most women are so focused on pushing they don't even know that they have pooped.

We're in the same boat as some of the PP's - I put DS on the potty many times a day. Sometimes he goes, sometimes he doesn't, but I never force anything. We also have books/toys to keep him interested, and sometimes I sing to him. :)

[moderndayhermit]

I had an emergency c-section after 22 hours of induced labor.

I get all curious about actually giving birth and if I were to have a second, would I do a VBAC.

Then I remember the terrible pain and the epidural that didn't work and think the whole experience is highly-overrated.

Scheduled c-section it is.

[robin j.]

i have a friend who had a planned but unscheduled c-section, i.e. she waited until she started labor and then went in for the surgical birth. the idea is that your body and the baby still get to decide when the baby is ready to be born. it seems like the best of both worlds to me, when a c-section is called for. it was all planned out with her doctor's approval and involvement.as for the potty-training stage that riley as it, i'd suggest not asking him if he pooped/is pooping when you know what's going on, but just affirming it and putting him on the potty, even still in his diaper, so he gets used to it. that's one of the things i did, and my son was totally out of diapers by 27 months, without any Hardcore Potty Madness.

[Christina]

We are still in the midst of it all but we have just been going slowly.

Our son showed a ton of interest at 18 months so we bought a potty and put him on it. He was like 'yeahhhh. right' He liked to pee standing up like daddy. That was kind of cool but then we moved and it all stopped.

So we waited. We decided to try pull ups because we like sending little dollars with wings flying out the window but I actually think it worked for him. He was really SO over diapers and it got him used to the whole pull your undies up thing.

I also bought some big boy underwear that were on super sale. We started letting him run naked way more once the weather started getting nicer (he was just turning 2 at the time) and we put the big boy undies on him. He has had accidents and we just clean him up talk to him about going to the potty and move on. He also likes to pee on the grass naked - it must be a male thing...

He is getting the hang of it now that he goes to a smaller day care setting. He still wears his pull ups to bed but he has actually had dry diapers some mornings! Just slow and sure - consistency is SO dang important it seems.

AND finally by god don't cheap out on the potty. We did. We bought this junkie one at Target (Step 1). I ended up spending $25-29 on a Baby Born seat that rocks - you set it on the regular toilet. I wish I had two of them they are so awesome.

[ktjrdn]

Yeah, it sounds like he might be ready to start looking into the potty trianing, but stop and think about whether you are ready. I started the potty thing with my daughter before I found out I was pregnant again, and deeply regret it. She was a almost 2 at the time. I just didn't have the time or energy to devote to it. It's a pain in the butt. After the new baby came and things settled down more, it was much easier to deal with. And she was still potty trained by 3.

[Amy]

I am very blessed to have found a preschool that potty trained both my boys...although we tried a little earlier with the first. Forget all the fancy potty seats...get one you can put on the regular toilet and let him try it when he wants to. I had just had #2 when they started and wasn't really ready to give up the convenience of pull ups, but it wasn't so bad. Be thankful for not having to make a mad dash for the bathroom with baby in tow when Riley suddenly announces in the middle of grocery shopping....POOP!

[Mairlyn]

I've had an emergency c-section after induced labor and pushing (YIKES), going into labor naturally before having a c-section and a regular planned c-section. BY FAR my favorite experience is the planned c-section. Oh, and I never puked during the c-section but I did during the induced labor. Go figure.

No advice on potty training as I think I got a big ol "F" in that subject with my first. My second is just coming up on 14 months so I've got a little time before I need to worry about it.

[Ashley]

HAHAHAHA....Oh man my side is splitting! HAHAAAAAHAAHAHA!

Yeah, about this topic, when you figure out what works could you PLEASE come get Owen to consider it? That would be great, thanks.

[Melanie]

Maybe wait til he goes and hides to poop alone? We never really had a potty, just the regular toilet worked better (we did have a little toddler seat cover thingy so he didn't fall in).
Pooping during delivery was my #1 fear, too. I did pee, but I did not poop, and that was fine. Somehow pee is less embarrassing.

[Mommy Daisy]

About labor. I delivered vaginally, but I was induced. So I experienced labor and delivery, but I knew it was coming. I was already hooked up to the monitors and everything. I had an easy time pushing out a 9 lb. 11 oz. baby, and I did NOT poop. But shortly before beginning pushing, I DID puke! Yuck. See, anything can happen in either situation.

About potty training. Our son is 17 months old. When he just turned 1, we bought a potty chair (that also lifts off onto the regular potty). At 9-10 months old he told us when he was pooping. I thought maybe that was enough reason to try. So we set up the potty, talked abuot it, and sat him on it before getting in the bathtub every night. And here we are 5 months later, he still hasn't gone on the potty. I haven't pushed the issue. He just doesn't have the patience to sit there and wait for it to happen. But we'll keep at it like this. I'm thinking about doing a little more when he turns 18 months. (Yikes, which is soon.) I say give it a try now and then sitting him on it. If he's ready ok, if not oh well.

[wilddreemer]

i started taking him in with me and saying mom go potty. one day brandon just looked at me and said potty. so i went in and put him on. he just chilled there. after a few times he figured out to pee in there. i got him a tiny elmo seat that sits on the big seat because he wanted to be on the big potty not the little kid potty

[cherubmarie]

It's weird. We had to force Molly, she's almost 5 now. She wasn't ready and really trained until she was 3 1/2. She still has the ocassional accident. She's soooo not focused. She's one of those "oooh there's something shiny" easily distracted kids. Audrey? She's 2 1/2 and she's putting herself on the potty. Weird.

[KatezMom]

Katie will admit to pooping but adamantly refuses diaper changes afterward. She will, though, diaper her stuffed animals and put them on the potty.

I have to jump in with my 2 cents about the scheduled c-section, and I'm going to be pushy b/c I care. I don't know your history, whether there's a valid medical reason, but PLEASE visit ican-online.org. The risks of a repeat c-section for both mom and baby are HIGHER than for a vaginal delivery after a c-section (assuming all else is normal, no pre-e, etc.). I've started researching my VBAC (TTC) and I've learned SO MUCH from the ICAN Yahoo group that I wouldn't have dreamed about. I'm now actually planning a homebirth because of what I've learned (and I'm not a crunchy vegan type, either!) PLEASE research all your options - not just the info from your OB.

[Michelle in Maryland]

My sister was born when I was 16 months old. I was not happy with The New Baby (my mom was on strict bedrest for four months, and I was angry), and immediately rid myself of anything associated with It. Bottle? No thanks. Diapers? From what I understand, I had myself potty trained in no time.

No WAY was I going to deal with anything having to do with that baby.

Not that, uh, things will be that way with Riley...

[Linda S.]

Katez: yes, there's a valid medical reason for the scheduled c-section.

[jenn]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I wouldn't take advice from me... my son just turned 3 and we're still struggling daily with potty training. (Got into a fight with my mom just yesterday over this.) We just had boy #2 in April, and we figured it was useless to push getting Ryan trained just to have him regress when the baby got here and turned his world upside down. So lately we've been trying to be more consistent with at least making him wear big boy pants at home and go in the potty (which he really does do pretty well - it's when we go out in public that there's a problem. Like a few weeks ago when I tried an outing with big boy underwear, he peed all over the floor at the Super Target, right in front of the organic spaghetti sauce.) It's just a really tough thing to juggle when you have a new baby. I mean, yeah, it sucks changing a 3-year-old's diapers, but it sucks worse changing the 3-year-old's entire outfit three times a day because he's too busy playing to tell me he has to go. And I'm too busy cleaning up the constant messes he makes and nursing his brother to ask him every 15 minutes if he has to go.

Oh, but here's a funny story: today I was myself sitting on the potty, and my son was standing outside the open bathroom door. When he saw me sitting there, he clapped his hands and shouted "Yay! Good job Mommy, you go on the potty! Way to go! Gimme five!" Good times, good times.

[Liz in Australia]

I just take their pants off when the weather warms up and let them figure it out for themselves. B was potty trained within a week (at 2 1/2), K did this last summer and figured out the mechanics of it, but never really got to the point where she was using the potty reliably. Summer's coming round again, so we'll try it when it's warmer and she'll get the hang of it when she's ready...

[Eric's Mommy]

I had to go through the whole labor and pushing then had an emergency c-section and had to be totally knocked out because my epidural didn't work. I also pooped on the table a teeny tiny bit, my biggest fear and of course the ONE thing my husband likes to bring up.

As far as potty training goes, Eric didn't poop on the potty until he was 4! He never used a training potty, then one day he just decided that pooping in his pants was gross and sat on the toilet and did it and that was it.

He did have some weird pee issues around that time. He would pee in his room and one time he went in our kitchen cabinets and peed in a tupperware container and put it on the counter where he ended up knocking it over! Talk about WEIRD!

[Kayte]

Well, I had the honor of potty training two boys at once...LOL...they were about 2-1/2 at the time and I got two little potty chairs, set them side by side in the bathroom, and we discussed what the idea was by reading the Once Upon a Potty book. They liked the book. HOWEVER, the boy in the book is naked sitting on the potty, so my boys thought that they should be naked each time...now at first this was a big fun game and they would strip down and sit...nothing...get dressed again...repeat about a dozen times, each time stripping down to nothing because that is what the boy in the book did. After two days, I threw the book out, moved the potty chairs out onto the deck (it was summer)and said, let's eat popsicles and drink water all day long today and see how many times we can go potty. That worked...by the end of day two they had it down (and by day three were very disappointed that the popsickle routine was not going to continue non-stop, but it was a small price to pay for just two days of setting up camp out in the backyard and focusing on the real deal). We didn't go anywhere else those two days...they just ran around butt naked in a teeshirt sipping water and eating those popsicles! The more liquid you get into them, the more liquid that comes out...and the more practice and repeats you have. Good luck...two might have been easier actually as they were happy to have each other to compete with during the learning process. Once they got it down, they did not want the diapers on...I told them that when they stayed dry for 5 nights in a row that they could remove the diapers forever. That worked by the time they were 3 and I never had to change a wet bed for either of them. (I did not relish the thought of changing wet bed linen, so we kept the diapers on at night until they were dry 5 nights in a row...don't hate me, but I have never had to change a bed with wet linens in all my years of parenting, how lucky was that?) All my friends with girl toddlers were trained way before my friends with boys...just so you know...LOL.

[my buddy mimi]

I just went out and bought a potty seat yesterday, so we are about to start this whole process too. No clue how it will go, but I figure it takes a different path for everyone. Good luck to both of us!