The old gray mare

Weekends sort of suck, sometimes.

There are long, boring stretches of time when even the charm of a toddler who has just learned how to "jump" (his feet don't actually leave the ground, which makes it extra hilarious) grows tedious and all the adults want to do is anything but this.

You can leave the house, but only by virtue of a strategic plan that involves careful timing, a collection of foods and liquids and distractions, and a destination that's toddler-friendly, which rules out 99% of the places you'd like to go. You can negotiate your individual outings—a brief run to the dive shop or bookstore while the other parent stays home—but the days of you and your husband dilly-dallying around town together, lingering in coffee shops and watching matinees, deciding on a whim to drive to Mt. Rainier for a hiking trip, well, those are over for now.

Weekends were once a couple of relaxing days off from work and responsibilities, but they sure aren't now. Now they're 48 exhausting hours of toddler-wrangling, housework, and chores that don't get done during the busy week, without breaks for self-indulgence. Weekends remind you of what you gave up when you became a parent, even while you take pleasure in everything you gained.

Here's the part where I'm supposed to go all shmoopy and minimize my complaints by saying that it's all worth it and I wouldn't change a thing and even the toughest times are the BEST times, but I'm not going to, because yeah yeah yeah yeah YEAH of course it's worth it or we'd all be packing our children into mailing tubes and tossing them into FedEx pickup containers and briskly brushing off our hands and driving directly to the 5 PM showing of 300; I'm just going to say this: the weekends aren't what they used to be.

That's why we're teaching the boy to give back massages. Hey, it's the least he can do, right?

Comments

[hello insomnia]

I'm waiting for the day when my son can walk on my back because that's really why I had a child. Forget getting adjusted at the chiropractor's, all I need is the weight of a small child to fix me up.

[Swistle]

Man, I HEAR YOU. As I understand it, we don't get our weekends back until we're too senile to want them.

[Melissa]

Thanks for mentioning this....we are experiencing the same feelings. Good idea with the backrubs!

[carey]

oh yeah, weekends...i forgot about those. sigh. thanks, now i want a real weekend! ;)
by the way, love that you got your little guy to give a massage. that is AWESOME! he he!

[ShannonJ]

That was perfectly stated. I wouldn't say I DREAD the weekends, but when they come around, I catch myself thinking "what if" an awful lot. What if I could just stay up and watch movies til whenever, without having to get up at 6 am? What if I could actually finish a cup of coffee? What if I could get on the computer uninterrupted for even 20 minutes? Or, like you say, what if I could just up and leave the house whenever I want? It sounds trite, but I really don't know what I did with all my free time before kids. In most ways, I don't miss it, but yeah, I do get a little melancholy sometimes. The weekends are more exhausting than my "real job".

By the way, teach him to brush your hair too. The tangles are worth it.

[laura]

See, whenever I read your blogs I am usually envious of your ability to get out and do stuff in a planned manner on the weekends. Geocaching (sp?) sounds so cool!

I totally understand mourning the weekends of being a non-parent. It would be nice to not have to think about diapers and sippys and picking up pieces of half-eaten grapes off the floor (although I suppose that is what Dog is for anyways). It's not really even about going out and doing stuff, it is about the freedom to do what you want, whenever the he!! you want to do it!

[Maki-New Mom]

My son Will is 2 months old and I can't wait for the back rubbing b/c I didn't realize it would be long hours of carrying, sleepless nights, spit up on my suit (yes, I'm back at work already). I'm relishing his first social smile for now and hopefully that'll tide me over until the next developmental phase-sleeping through the night is my hope.

[Jennifer]

I am right there with you! Weekends are the same as a weekday to me now. The planning around nap time and making sure all possible drink/snack/distractions are in place before even leaving the house...not so fun.

Vacations are the same way. Not really vacations, just occupying time in a different place.

[Kimberly]

What you are saying is every bit the truth, and I can sympathize. Cute photo of Riley with the massage tool...love the last line

[Kimberly]

What you are saying is every bit the truth, and I can sympathize. Cute photo of Riley with the massage tool...love the last line

[nonsoccermom]

Yes! YES THEY DO. I often find myself glancing at the clock every few minutes on Sunday, hoping for Monday...which is sad really, but weekends have just become SO exhausting.

[MRW]

I hear that. Also vacations are really not that much fun unless you are going someplace with 1. relatives who love to entertain your kid or 2. someplace where your child will be so entertained by stuff, you hardly have to do anything - since I have yet to find place 2, we mostly vacation at my in-laws or with my in-laws. Otherwise we are just hauling all of our kid entertainment crap to some other location where we will also get up at 6:00 am, go to bed at 9:30, spend most of the day wondering what we're going to do and paying for the privilege of doing it. Sigh. Some day in our mid-50s we'll get our week-ends back...

[Kim]

True, true true true.

That's all I have to say.

Well, that and this--

Why, when asked what I want for my birthday, do I think first of getting a few daylight hours sans my little gal, sans work, so that I can RAKE LEAVES off my yard to keep the daffodils buried beneath them from dying from lack of sunlight?

The chance to do yardwork: a birthday wish of parenthood.

[Joanne]

I totally dread the weekends. I always think they're going to be different and they NEVER ARE. It's super frustrating, I feel like I have to lower my expectations so that if we survive the weekend, I'm like 'awesome'!

[Alex]

The ending to this post ROCKED. I almost spit Diet Coke all over the computer.