Doomsday predictions

JB's luncheon conversation, as retold to me this evening:

Bob (father of a 3-year-old and a 1-year old): "Dude, two ruins it."

JB: " . . . "

Bob: "Now that we have two, my wife is never happy when I come home. Never happy. Two ruins it."

JB: " . . . "

Bob: "We sold the boat. There's never time to take it out."

JB: "The Bayliner?"

Bob: "GONE."

Well! I might find that a tad depressing, considering we're planning to add another child to our own family—but lucky for us, we don't have a boat. WHEW, EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE THEN.

Comments

[madaleah]

just remember his reality will not be yours. always a good thing to keep in mind, people are always willing to rain on your parade. everyone's experience is different. i love having two. n they work out all those things i won't have to send them to therapy for.

[Katie]

Hilarious. Scary. Hilarious.

My husband recently told me he's not sure he wants another because I have apparently done nothing but complain since number 1 arrived. I was shocked! I had no idea I complained at all!

[laughing mommy]

Having two is great. You won't believe how much you will love the second one.

[Jennifer]

Great. Wish I'd have known sooner, seeing as I'm due in May. Great.

Seriously, though, just remember that there are people who purposely have like 4 or 8 kids. Some people can just handle more than one better.

[Cara]

I'm only on my 4th week of having 2 and so far it's fine. I'm not going to say that it's not challenging having an 18 month old and a 3 week old, but the challenges are mostly logistics. Like if I'm nursing the baby and the toddler falls and bonks his head, how am I supposed to run to help him? But you figure it out.

I agree, however, that there are some people that just don't have it in them to be able to handle more than one young child at a time. But I think you know that sort of thing about yourself before you ever start trying for that second one.

[Swistle]

Oh, that is so funny. One of the benefits of having more children than most people is that fewer and fewer people can say things like that. When I was pregnant with our first, it was all, "Having a child RUINS YOUR LIFE" and "Go to movies and restaurants now because you'll NEVER GET TO AGAIN." Pregnant with the second: "You think one is hard, just wait until you have TWO!" Pregnant for the third time: "We wish we'd stopped at two" and "Sometimes I wonder, 'We had a boy and a girl--why did we have to go and push it?'"

Pregnant with the fifth: blessed silence.

[Tiffany]

I agree with the ladies above, some people aren't cut out for two or more kids. With that said, most people shouldn't procreate at all, but who am I to judge - right?

I just found out I'm due with #2 about a week after my daughter turns 2. Freakin out? yeah. Questioning my sanity? of course. Happier than all get out? you betcha!

I'm a supermom and can handle anything...at least that's what the voices in my head tell me!

YOU WILL BE FINE!!!

[Swistle]

Apparently I have even more to say!

I remember the first few weeks with two was challenging--but then, so were the first few weeks with ONE. It's an adjustment. But after that, I remember thinking so often how much fun it was to have two. Taking pictures of TWO kids is so fun. Seeing differences and similarities between two kids is so fun. Seeing them start to interact WITH EACH OTHER (like, having little conversations!) is so fun.

Also, a lot of things started to feel more "worth it" to me: creating a big messy project with two children is more worth it than the same messy project with only one.

[g~]

My two are 26 months apart and while there are hard times, I LOVE having two. It was so much easier adding my second to the mix than adjusting to the total life change that occurred with having the first. They are 3.5 yrs and 19 months and it's cake (mostly--well, today because it's only 8 am here...ask me at around 3:30...)

[Janssen]

We don't have any kids yet (although we're definitely planning on having some in the next couple of years), and I swear that all we hear is "wow, your life must be so easy," "you guys can just do whatever you want," and "your life will never be the same when you have kids."

[Kristin]

The best thing about two (besides a whole new kid to love) is that they actually entertain each other! My daughter always wants to go see her brother first thing in the morning, and she will "play" with him and leave me time to do my own thing. Of course I have to watch for games like "squish Aiden's face" and "drag Aiden across the floor by one leg" but generally, I think it's awesome having two.

(Did I just date myself by using the word "awesome"? Yes. I did.

[biodtl]

I love having two. They can occupy each other now and then and I can actually sit down and read. Of course, the "occupying each other" sometimes mean "fighting and namecalling and beating each other senseless", but hey - you take what you can get.

[Helen]

It's always an adjustment going from one to two. We kept waiting to have our second, and it was only because birth control failed that I got pregnant at all. Planning, either way, doesn't always get you there. I have two, a girl (14) and a boy (7). The age difference worked in my favor in the beginning because by daughter helped me with my son who was born during the summer between kindergarten and first grade. Now, seven years later, instead of him being her little doll, he is pinhead, as in "Get out of my room now, pinhead, before I kill you." Ahh, siblings.

[Matthew Miller]

This falls in the same category as the horrible things about new parenthood people tell you when you're expecting. It's all true, but also, despite being objectively miserable, it is wonderful.

[Joanne]

My mom, who had four, thought that the second was the hardest, just because of the babysitting aspect. She said she felt like it was nothing to say "can you watch Larry?" but she felt it was totally stepping over the line to say "can you watch Larry AND Laura?" Then she had TWO more after that, so it couldn't have been too bad. In my experience, (which is only having one baby so far) people want to say really scary and mean stuff so that they can feel better about their own lives. But I always think it's silly to describe parenting as 'hard' or 'ruining' anything. They're people that we're raising! It's a pain, and some days I think I truly can't do it anymore, but *everyone* does it. The fact that you want to have more should tell you all you need to know, and the hell with everyone else.

[Jennifer]

I have a 21 month old and we are due in May with #2. I am excited and scared as hell. But I know it will totally be worth it. I can't wait until Tyler can play with a new little brother. Follow your heart. If you feel ready to add to your family just do it.

[jenn]

Yeah, I'm due with #2 in two weeks (Both boys... #1 is 2 yrs, 9 mos.) I've been kind of freaking out lately about what it's going to be like raising two. I think it'll be challenging, but fun... like a lot of things that are worth doing. Riiight?

That guy sounds like the typical kind of jackass that likes to rain on people's parades, like women who want to scare the crap out of first time mothers with their labor and birth horror stories. But all your comments made me feel better!

[MRW]

OK I don't have two, but I have to agree with others who have said this is probably lots like people who insist on telling you having a child ruins everything, you'll never be able to do anything ever again blah blah blah. In some ways it's true in that your life is no longer just your own, but in most ways it's complete BS. Now that you are used to not having your life to yourself, might as well share it with more huh?

[txhorns]

Two is hard work, but (thankfully in our case) very rewarding. It does require more co-parenting than one child and yes, you will have less time for the "two" of you. But, I love doing things with the four of us instead. Each family is different, but two kids has really made us a very cohesive family unit. And, wait until you see the kids interact with each other-it is the very best and sweetest thing. Good luck.

[Ashley]

Bob sounds like a jack-ass. Maybe his wife is never happy because he doesn't help? Or because he whined when he had to sell the boat? Or because he goes around telling people that having 2 kids ruins 'it'.

Or not. Maybe Bob is a stand-up guy.

[Leah]

According to my sources, one ruins it too, so I guess you just can't win.

[samantha jo campen]

Sounds like Bob's second kid is going to need a lot of therapy, because Bob sounds like a jackass father.

[Melissa]

Oh jeez - my husband would say that about having one! LOL...not really.
You are already in the kid business so you may as well expand...pun not really intended. Especially since you are doing so well getting into those pre-pregnancy jeans.

[Keri]

"..."

I'm just as dumbfounded as JB was.

[Shann]

Even with one, we sold the two seadoos...with three? Lucky if I can visit the bathroom unaccompanied. But they are a treat!Two is better than one for sure, if only for company for the older one...