Book review: "You're Not the Boss of Me: Adventures of a Modern Mom"

A while ago I agreed to participate in a blog book tour for Erika Schickel's book, "You're Not the Boss of Me: Adventures of a Modern Mom". I like the idea of blog tours, it's a great way to get the word out on someone's published work. Also, as someone who would rather eat a live Madagascar hissing cockroach dipped in black licorice and coated in crushed aspirin than do a typical book tour, which apparently involves actually speaking in front of people, I wholeheartedly support the notion of internet-based book promo activities.

However, the value of having a blogger review your book sort of hinges on 1) the blogger liking it, and 2) the blogger not being a mouth-breathing idiot when it comes to discussing literature. I can pull through on #1 for the most part, but as far as #2 is concerned . . . well, we may be in trouble here. You should probably read the review over at Leery Polyp instead.

Regardless, let us forge onward to my ham-handed attempt to tell you what I thought of the book. At first blush, "You're Not the Boss of Me" looks like a lighthearted collection of comedic riffs on parenthood, and I think I was expecting an alternative-girl take on the parenting book genre; which is to say, I figured the whole thing would focus almost exclusively on the author's observations of motherhood. In a funny way that also mentions tattoos, or something.

That's not really the case, as Shickel moves through each chapter addressing various topics (a visit to a strip club, foot surgery, SUV buyer's remorse, and my personal favorite, the chapter titled "The Fucking Cat"). She does talk about her experiences with parenthood, but that's just part of the overall picture. I can say I liked most of the essays in this book, but I didn't grasp a common theme—or, more specifically, I guess I didn't connect with the theme under which it's marketed—and that left me feeling adrift at times.

If this is a "momoir" (a term I like almost as much as "advertorial"), I suppose a mom talking about things like pot, or getting steamy lap dances from a hot stripper, is sort of eye-opening for that segment of the population that still needs to be reminded that mothers are actually individuals, too. Maybe it's because I read so many well-written blogs by women who also happen to be mothers, but this doesn't feel like a unique concept to me.

I have the feeling that the publisher needed a hook to draw readers in, and that they chose to target the Mommy Demographic. It makes sense that they did so, and it probably wouldn't sell as well in another segment (Memoirs: Humorous: General?).

For me, it's easier to enjoy Shickel's writing for what it is—often funny, always smart—rather than looking to identify with the motherhood experience aspect of the book. Ignore the title, and you've got a fun, snarky, poignant-at-times collection of essays that should appeal to anyone who likes a good read.

Links:

• "You're Not the Boss of Me" on Amazon

• Erika Schickel's website

Comments

[Mary O]

I totally read this yesterday and just didn't comment on it. I think you did a great book review! It made me want to read it too. So, anyway. Don't stop reviewing and talking about books cuz me likey.

[Cari]

I love reading other mom's stories. And getting a good laugh...regardless of the subject matter. "Often funny, always smart" sounds like it is worth a read to me.

[samantha Jo Campen]

I'm here! I'm here!

Great review!

There. Feel better?

[Erika Schickel]

Hey! It's me, Erika Schickel the author, and I'm just gonna get in there and respond... because you asked Linda, and maybe I can goose a little discussion. Anyway, after your long preamble about how you can't write reviews, you went on to write a total butt-kicker of a review and are so far the only person who has noticed that this is a "momoir" in name only. Yes, I write about my experiences of being a mom (and also my experiences of being a daughter), but I like to think I am a writer first and a mom-writer merely by association. Just as you and so many other funny, smart, sassy, mom-bloggers out there are doing, I am writing about my experience, which happens at this juncture, to involve raising children. But of course, you're right, my publisher wanted to catch the momoir wave and slapped that baby on the cover and man alive, I fuh-reaked! It looks like another one of those pink gingham, cutesy mom books about those little scamps we love, and how I'm getting fat eating the crusts off their sandwiches and stories of madcap multi-tasking - which is what I wanted my book to be the antidote to. Oy.
Also, because its a funny book my publisher labeled it "humor" and now it's stuck in a veritable bookstore Siberia, up in the back of the second floor of Barnes & Noble, a tender, little buttercup in the dirty backwash of joke books intended to be read on the crapper. So I beg you blog-readers, if you read it and like it, to please talk it up to your friends, because word of mouth is all that will save it from obscurity.
It's not a perfect book, and I am an equally flawed author/mom/human. But I offer it with deep affection for all of you magnificent women-who-happen-to-be-moms, going stir-crazy with cabin fever, boredom, anxiety, dust-bunnies, confusion, back fat, exhaustion and that deep, stirring, unquenchable, enthralling love you have for your kids and the life you have brought them into.

[laura]

I don't know if this is happening to anyone else, but I subscribe to your blog via my Google home page, which currently shows the previous post (The Old Gray Mare) as the most recent, even though you have two newer ones. If this is a problem others are experiencing, maybe it contributes to your lack of comments?

I feel like a sad, commentless sack today as well. I moved my fledgling site and now I lost my four regular readers.

[Stephany]

Linda, I love your writing, love your sassy 'tude... if you liked this book, I can trust that I will like this book. I thought this was a GREAT review! Very honest, I know what to expect when reading this book, but not so much info that I don't need to. Also, love to hear from the author directly! How cool is that?!

[mrsgryphon]

For someone who claims not to be able to write a book review, I quite enjoyed this one, Linda!

... and have added the book to my Amazon wish list as a result :)

[laughing mommy]

Sorry. I did read this post earlier. But I got distracted by something shiny and forgot to comment...

[ShannonJ]

I didn't comment mainly because I wanted to read a little of the book first. The review was good; it gave me an idea of what to expect, and I think I will like it just for being "smart" and "funny". My two favorite things! Except for ice cream.

[robin]

Although I normally squeal with glee when you update at any of the places I currently stalk you, I will admit that when I saw it was a book review post, I skipped over it to read later.

Not because I didn't think it would be good, but I know there is no way in hell I am going to read any kind of book anytime soon to read a book, no matter how good it sounds.

[Swistle]

Great review! It gave me a very good and balanced idea of what the book was like and what the main ups and downs of it were.

[Dawn]

I read it yesterday i promise! I just didn't comment because I had to run out and get the book. You are so modest, starting out talking about how you can't write a decent review and then you wrote the best review! Several other blogers that I regularly stalk wrote reviews on this same book but yours was the one that made me want to read the book.
Okay, all better now? No more sad faces, I see enough of those from my own little drama queen.