The Fear

Yesterday when I picked Riley up from daycare, one of his teachers told me that he'd had a hard day. "He kept falling down," she said. Apparently he'd fallen several times, once by careening into a table.

I'm not sure I would have worried much about that, except that earlier in the morning I'd watched Riley follow JB out in the driveway to get the paper, and fall sprawling onto the cement. After JB picked him up, Riley took a couple more steps and fell again, this time with enough force to give himself a wee bloodied lip. At the time I'd thought it looked strange, because I couldn't see anything that had tripped him—and while Riley is certainly still clumsy on his feet at times, he's past the barely-in-control-of-his-limbs stage.

I think I just stared openmouthed at this nice girl who works at the daycare while I took in her words. I got some more details, then rushed him home where I immediately took off his shoes, on the theory that they were messing him up somehow.

He seems fine. We've been watching him closely and he's doing all the things he normally does, he doesn't seem to have any balance problems. Maybe he was just having an off day, maybe his early morning gave him some minor injury that affected his mobility.

It was a scary thing to hear, though, because of course I can't be level-headed about it, I immediately think PARTIAL STROKE and CEREBRAL PALSY and ACUTE DISSEMINATED ENCEPHALOMYELITIS, because I am paranoid and prone to The Fear.

You know: The Fear. The fear that your kid will get sick, that he's going to get hurt, that you won't be able to protect him. Sometimes I forget about The Fear for days on end, and I almost take it for granted that my boy is healthy and thriving and that I am blessed beyond belief, and then someone says, "He kept falling down," and there it is in front of me, cold and black and too terrifying to look in the eye.

He seems fine, and I don't feel like I'm taking that for granted right now.

Comments

[Swistle]

Ears! Maybe ears? Has he had a cold?

[Sharri]

I've been a regular reader for a while. I have a four year old and I get "the fear" - he has a stuffy nose...my God, all will fall apart! I hear you. And it was nice to read that I am not alone.

[Lucy]

This recently happened to my neice. She seemed to be much clumsier than usual on her feet. Finally my sister-in-law took her to the doctor and she had a double ear infection. So to second Swistle, maybe his ears?

[Joanne]

Poor Riley and poor you guys. I am well acquainted with The Fear. I'm sure he'll be okay but why not just give the doctor a ring anyway? Ears can get bad really fast so maybe you can head it off at the pass?

[Zoot]

Shit. Now I have the fear. My daughter's daycare teachers are always talking about how much she falls down (she does) but I just assumed it was a "My Mom Gave Me Her Klutz Genes" thing. Now you have ME scared.

heh.

[Jennifer]

Isn't The Fear something that just comes with motherhood? I wish The Fear would just go away, but it doesn't. It lurks behind every blank stare, cough, stumble, fireplace ledge...

I'm sure Riley is fine. Like some others have said, could be the ears.

[Kelly]

Hmmm, Johnny has days like this. They seem to coincide with the days he eats everything in sight and whines incessantly when his yap isn't full of food. You know, the days when bedtime is met with whoops of joy, those days? I chalk it up to his brain being too busy developing to monitor his usual, somewhat coordinated self.

But yeah, ears. Maybe ears.

I'm sorry about the fear and know of what you speak.

[Jennifer]

We've been having Sleep Issues with our 7 month old & last night when he finally slept from 2-8am all I could think of is "is he really sleeping or is something wrong? Should I go check on him? He's not even making any noise, am I sure he's ok?" So I go from pulling my hair out over him not sleeping to pulling my hair out over him sleeping too long...we never win!

[foodmomiac]

My 18 month old has also been falling a lot lately. It seems to coincide with his tired times. He is going through a growth spurt and is sleeping a LOT. So, he is tired more and falling more. Maybe Riley is just growing!

[Stephanie B.]

Not too scientific here, but I've noticed that my toddler gets a little clumsy right before one of her growth spurts. It lasts for 3-5 days and then boom, she shoots up a little. It's been that way since she started walking - over a year now.

[Kirsten]

Oh my! We had the EXACT same fear when G was 16 months. I was sure she was headed to a wheelchair for life or something. I finally figured out that she was trying to move faster than her coordination would allow. Once her legs caught up to her brain the falling stopped. I am well aquainted with The Fear.

[samantha Jo Campen]

I was going to suggest ears as well.

Or maybe he's just so tired from all the household chores he's been picking up?

Either way, I do hope everything is fine and that this is easily taken care of.

[Sharon]

My son Collin would fall down (more often than normal for a 18 month old) when he had ear infections (8 in 6 months) that was our only indication... no crying, no fever nothing. He has since had ear tubes and no more ear infections (knock on wood)

[agavi]

Oh, the Fear! My son is only 10 weeks old and already I've got the Fear. At first if he so much as seemed a little flushed, I would think OMG, fever! Major illness! Then he would poop and I'd realise he was attending to bigger issues. I'm a smidge more relaxed now, but I can only imagine once he gets more active what I'm going to be like.

[laura]

I third the person who mentioned ears. Daughter had an ear infection that coincided with a runny nose cold. Around the same time she was also falling down a lot, which was weird for her. I hope Riley is ok! I know The Fear very well... it grips me at night if I have insomnia. Lying awake in bed at 2am, I cannot shut off my brain to prevent it from thinking horrible thoughts.

[Lavinia]

I hear you on the Fear. Really really. But I'm sure he's fine, and I totally agree with the ear thing. Don't quote me on this, but I think the "standard" ear infections are in the middle ear, which doesn't tend to mess with the balance, but an inner ear infection will totally mess you up. I had one once that led to a case of vertigo (yes, really), and I was almost non-functional: I'd get out of bed and promptly fall on the floor. Much scarier sounding than it actually is - easily medicated and goes away in a couple days. I'd definitely ask the question. In the meantime, you have everyone's sympathy on The Fear. :)

[jenn]

The Fear and I are very, very well acquainted. The Fear is the reason why I'm on antidepressant/antianxiety meds. Otherwise I curl up in the fetal position for days at a time, so convinced am I that my poor kid is doomed. With the meds I think I probably just obsess about it a normal amount for a mother, which is still a lot, but not so much that I can't function.

[joanna]

my 2 year old daughter had synovitis (a virus that settles in the hip after a head cold) a few months ago - her symptoms (falling down randomly) were very similar. we had xrays/blood work done before they figured out it was just the virus. I totally understand how you feel, we were really freaked out!

[Melissa]

Hi Linda--Not to exacerbate the fear but I have friend who's daughter had similar symptoms (random falling) and unfortunately it wasn't just a virus. Take him in just to be sure; that's what ERs and doctors are for. Once you know it's just a virus please let us know!

[Nona]

OK, you don't really need to rush him to the ER. Our daughter, who is just a bit younger than Riley, had the same thing. She has fallen arches. With the help of orthopedic insoles she is now just clumsy like her parents, instead of "Oh My God Look At The New Bruise On Her FACE!" clumsy. There's also the ear infection thing, the growing thing (also happens to us), and the random day to fall down and give your Mom 20 new gray hairs thing. If this becomes a regular thing take to the doctor...but you're such a good Mom that you would have noticed other signs of a serious problem before now. Seriously. *big hug anyway*

[Melanie]

Mine has aortic valve stenosis (basically one valve of his heart wasn't opening right) and had to have a balloon put in to open up the valve when he was a baby. I rarely think about it, but when I do I get The Fear. Sometimes, I'll lie with my head on his chest, listening to his heart, SURE that it doesn't sound right and ohmygodwhatwouldidowithouthim????
Parenting is hard. I remember reading somewhere how it's like someone ripped out a piece of your heart and now it's walking around on its own, and that's totally how it is.

[jen]

for what it's worth, both of mine went through a clumsy phase... it was a bit after they got comfortable walking, and I guess they got TOO comfortable, they'd be falling all over themselves for awhile. Then I'd forget about it because it'd be gone.

[Nicole]

I would like to point out the ear thing too. Maybe not an infection mind you. Remember, the weather in the Pacific Northwest has been really squirrelly lately. Personally, I get a bit of vertigo and bad head- and ear-aches when the barometric pressure drops really quickly (like the other day). He could just be a little sensitive to pressure changes.

[Renae]

Have his ears checked. I still feel incredibly off balance when I have an ear infection. Just flew into see a friend and had horrible ear problems on the plane - still dealing with them and feeling majorly off kilter. Could be just the beginning of an ear infection for Riley.

[JMH]

I believe that parents develop instincts about their children. If you are truly worried, take him to the doctor...just to be safe AND to make you feel better. If it is nothing, you will feel better. If it is something, then you will know and can take care of it. The Fear is always with you once you give birth...my mom is always reminding me that she still has it for all of her grown children :)