I recently read someone's blog where they described their one-year-old as "good natured", and I thought, I wonder if this is a typo and they are really talking about their dog.
"Good natured" to me implies some amount of easygoing patience, however miniscule. A good natured baby seems as though they would normally be found with a smile creasing their dimpled cheeks, a twinkle of cheer in their eye. Perhaps they would be stoic and mannered, in a British sort of way: Yes, in fact I DO have a feces-filled diaper, Mother dear, but never you mind. Please, won't you finish your coffee, lest it grow tepid?
In comparison, Riley has what you might call a stormy nature. His is the 'red in tooth and claw' type of nature, the blustery strange plainlands that produce destructive squalls out of balmy blue skies. He rages with hurricane winds and clouds one second, and the next he's all sunlight and calmly grazing Disney animals.
(Lately he's been doing this awful Scream, the sort of sound that you expect to hear spiraling up from the fiery depths of hell itself. It is the type of Scream you might imagine a human only being capable of in the most dire of life-threatening situations, and yet my son makes it when his diaper is being changed. Or when the wet sock that he was in the process of swallowing is pulled from his mouth.)
O thunderous, mercurial child! I feel as though we are parenting a bolt of lightning, or something equally impossible to contain or quiet.
But when he laughs, he laughs with his mouth wide open. He screams with joy when we swing him in our arms. His happiness is a force to be reckoned with, too.
I dig for reserves every single day with him. He is never patient, never stoic. With him, the landscape is always changing, the weather is in turmoil, you have to run to keep up. His nature is good, it is beautiful and great, even. But "good natured"? No. No, I don't think that's quite the right term.
How about you? Is your kid good natured?
Ha. No I wouldn't say good natured. I wouldn't even say reasonable or happy a lot of the time. But when he is, he's knee-slapping, shouting with glee happy.
Posted by: Joanne | 10/09/2006 at 08:38 AM
I'd say my 1-year-old is good natured...now. In five minutes, maybe not. She gets frustrated easily.
In all seriousness, she was quite the challenge as an infant. She'd scream non-stop while awake. And she was always awake. So, this is an improvement.
Posted by: SarahO | 10/09/2006 at 08:56 AM
Good-natured, no . . . pain in the neck? Yes. . . but, you know? Secretly, I sometimes think some of the placid babies I see round at playgroup, etc. seem kinda boring.
I have to admire the kind of passion my little guys feel about things. The world doesn't get any more interesting or improve much when you add passive lukewarm people to it. Not that parenting passionate people isn't enough to send you right round the bend some days . . .
Posted by: Mary | 10/09/2006 at 09:10 AM
My son, just a few days past his first birthday is surprisingly...happy. He only cries when he's tired or hungry, when he gets into something he shouldn't and I take it away, he usually doesn't say anything, just goes on to the next task and if he does fuss, it's only for a minute.
He is funny, though. Little smirks when he's getting into something he knows he shouldn't, he grabs things and runs, looking back to see where we are while laughing hysterically.
He doesn't like his diaper changed, though. Then he's a real pain.
I'm sure if we have a second, he or she will be the spawn of the devil.
Posted by: Jenn - Moderndayhermit | 10/09/2006 at 09:15 AM
My first son was a handful - could wail to wake the dead, didnt like anyone but me; now he is a calm, intelligent 8 1/2 year old - popular and friendly. I used to think he would never calm down and I would never make it - I still celebrate privately each birthday!
Posted by: Carsie Nyirenda | 10/09/2006 at 09:47 AM
It depends on when you ask. Sometimes the twins seem VERY good-natured, smiley and happy. Other times, I realize they only SEEMED good-natured because they happened to be getting their way.
Posted by: Swistle | 10/09/2006 at 10:14 AM
I don't have kids, but I have two younger sisters. One of them was just happy throughout her baby and toddler years. Good natured would be absolutely the way to phrase it. She was always smiling and laughing, and nothing really upset her.
Posted by: Kate | 10/09/2006 at 10:23 AM
Yes, my 14 month old is good natured and quite a happy baby. He seldom cries, save being hungry or tired and seems to be accepting of all sorts of changes in his life. He adapted easily to daycare and will open his mouth up for any type of food we shove in. He wanders around the house happily by himself and even the cats enjoy interacting with his curous little experiments. He is also a great sleeper - long nap during the day and 12 hour stretches at night. This is what makes him the happy, chatty guy during the day.
I should mention this is due to nothing at all I have done. I am a lousy mum who right now is on her comuter while my happy guy is trying pointedly to explain the many uses of the Ziplock containers he pulled out of my cupboard. I guess we are just all born different!
Posted by: Jacqueline | 10/09/2006 at 10:42 AM
Well, I probably don't qualify to comment since my baby is 12 and they are, by definition, and most decidedly, NOT good-natured.
::SIGH::
Posted by: Teri M. | 10/09/2006 at 10:44 AM
My daughter (2.5 years) is "good natured". Has been since the day she was born. My son (just turned 1)on a good day sounds A LOT like how you discribed Riley.......on a bad day, multiply the bad things by 10.
Posted by: dani | 10/09/2006 at 10:47 AM
Yes, he is. He goes to sleep with a smile and wakes up with a smile. He plays, doesn't mind if he has to play by himself, is not scared of strangers, doesn't have seperation anxiety (yet, anyway), giggles and laughs all the time. I took him on 6 hour car trips at 5 weeks with nary a peep, and have done it again several times with practically no grief from him.
My mother, who babysits and comes over quite a lot has only heard him really cry once, when he fell over and hit his head. At 7 months, he's only cried like that a handful of times (one of those times was when I tried to amputate the end of his thumb with the nail clippers).
The only downside I have found to this is that you can't tell when he is sick. I have taken him to the doctor twice for a cough that sounded bad, only to find that he has horrible ear infections. He doesn't even kick or move when the doctor is looking in his ears. He acts like it tickles.
We fully expect God to get us back in the form of A)Teenage years, resulting in a Nip/Tuck type rebellion, cult joining and teenage pregnacy or B)the second one is going to be so bad we want to send it back. Either way, we're screwed, but enjoying it while it lasts.
Posted by: Mrs. CPA | 10/09/2006 at 11:23 AM
Yes, those children do exist. I have seen both extremes. My nephew was the perfect child; always ready with a laugh, rarely cried, thougthful and fun to be around. So, when my sister and her hubby started talking about having a second, we weren't too worried. I mean, they did have the perfect child. Three years later, enter my niece; colicky and always crying, doesn't listen too well now that she's 5, always in trouble. It never ceases to amaze me that these two came from the same gene pool. Don't get me wrong, we love them both to death and equally. She can be so super-cute... really, melt-your-heart-she's-so-sweet-and-cute, but the rest of the time you just want to wring her neck. Crazy. I think her parents are in for a real fun time when she gets older. Her brother, however, a total angel.
I wonder, now that we have our first baby due in March. Are those good genes from my side of the family, and will they win out in the dominant gene war?! God, I hope so!!
Posted by: telegirl | 10/09/2006 at 11:52 AM
I would have to say that my son is good natured. When I have read some of your past post when you (and other mommy bloggers) talk about the screams, I secret thank my lucky stars. Ryder rarely cries, even when he was a baby. When he does cry its usually short lived. He laughs easily and is pretty mellow most of the time. Which is good, because I really don't know how I'd handle a fussy baby and is really one of the reasons I am holding out for another one. I am lucky and don't know if I want to chance it.
One thing thats been bugging me lately is his shyness and reserved nature around strangers or other kids. I fear he is going to be socially retarded like me and I felt a lot of guilt this weekend at the park when he didn't quite know what to do. So I guess it's a trade off?
Posted by: robin | 10/09/2006 at 11:56 AM
My son was perfectly good-natured, smiling, laughing, little loveable fuzzball....who is now 10 and has an attitude the size of Mt. Rushmore and is getting in trouble regularly.
My daughter? Is a drama queen to the extreme and is currently in her crib screaming her fool head off.
Cover me. I'm making a break for it.
Posted by: Missie | 10/09/2006 at 12:50 PM
Good natured babies??? Hmmm... what are they??? I certainly wouldn't know. My daughter is 6 months old and has cried for most of those 6 months. Fun. Makes my husband and I really question about having another one. Don't get me wrong, I love her completely, but I couldn't handle another fussy one AND a toddler.
Oh, and of course sometimes my daughter can really turn on the charm and become Happy Baby... that's when people I don't know will come up and say "Wow, what a happy baby, she must be sooo easy"! Yea, I wish.
Posted by: Mary D. | 10/09/2006 at 02:06 PM
My son Trevor has been stormy since birth. He's very sweet-natured (giving and huge-hearted) but can get a case of the grumpies quicker than you'll flip a light switch and he's just always been that way. He's also got Asperger's Syndrome, which explains some of it.
My son Ryan, however, has been what I call good-natured every since he drew his first breath. He rarely cried as an infant and was very even keeled, went thru the terrible twos-and-threes like they didn't exist and has continued to be so. He's beyond ornery though. I have been known to tell people that his patient and placid exterior is simply a front for the Satan he has stored inside.
It's the quiet-and-calm ones you have to watch, I tell ya!
Posted by: Nikki | 10/09/2006 at 02:47 PM
Mine is eight months and I would say that for the most part he is pretty good natured. He gives me the most difficulty at diaper changes and bed time. Otherwise he's happy to just get down and explore. But he's only eight months. Another six months and I may be wishing I had detachable ears and could run on rechargeable batteries.
Posted by: Vycki | 10/09/2006 at 02:47 PM
My 8 1/2 month old daughter, from about 5 weeks on (when she started sleeping 8 hours a night) is good natured and very happy. She gets fussy when she is tired and when she has been in the car too long -- but even then really doesn't "cry", but mostly fusses and sounds irritated. She cried one night when she had two teeth coming in, but just one night. She is so so happy in the morning. She is a good sleeper and has a deep hearty laugh. Currently, she is grumpy when she is boycotting her baby food -- in favor of finger food -- but its not screaming or crying...just grousing and turning away. Mostly she is happy though. Curious and crawling all around. Smiling at people everywhere she goes. She sleeps about 11 hours a night every night and only has to be rocked for about 5 minutes before putting her down. I know I am lucky. My friends and sister constantly remind me of this. Your posts constantloy remind me of this.
We arent sure where her sunny disposition came from. I reportedly was not an easy baby and my husband had to be put on Ritalin...I am frightened at what baby #2 will be. I think we have gotten all of the good-nature in Isabelle...
Posted by: Leah | 10/09/2006 at 03:10 PM
"Good-natured" sounds too organicky for my five-month-old. Granted, he's a happy child, but he has his own agenda. Definitely not full of that good-natured spirit. If you were to put him in a supermarket, he'd be placed far from the "good-natured" foods section, methinks it'd be somewhere between the pork rinds and the liquor.
Posted by: Mona | 10/09/2006 at 05:54 PM
My daughter, who is 8 months old, has taken to screaming and crying when I change her clothes or her diaper, when I put her in her highchair, when I try to wipe a big goober of snot off her face, etc. But when she is happy...oh man...she is all sunshine. You cannot escape her charm. Her laugh and smile are amazing. Latelym she has been very attached to me and my husband gets a little miffed about it. I tell him it's my reward for not jumping out a window when she's spent half the day screaming at me.
Posted by: Melissa | 10/09/2006 at 06:07 PM
Nope..not at all..He is 14 months old, and has the same scream you describe, is a wiggleworm in every sense of the word, and gets into anything and everything he knows he shouldn't. I am almost positive he knows what the word no means by now... but, he doesn't care, it is his world, and he's the boss. It is awkward and endearing to watch them grow up so quickly and to become so independent. All the sleepless nights, all the pukey, poopy, scream filled days. They may wear me out now, but I will miss them when they are gone..I love your blog, it is delightful..thanks for the laughs.
Posted by: Kimberly | 10/09/2006 at 06:12 PM
My God, you just described my one-year-old daughter. My reserves are at an all time low... OKAY, stop the whining already!!!! EEEEEEEEK!
Posted by: Katie Kat | 10/10/2006 at 04:52 AM
I don't believe in heaven or hades, but I've heard that the Devil has a nice side as well.
I have 2 girls, 4 & 2. I know they are the devil spawn. I'm not sure which genes they took the evil from, but I know it is in them. Everyone is right: They can be cute till is breaks your heart. With little smirks and the tilting of the head. Both with blonde hair and blue eyes they are the picture of perfect. Then comes diaper changing for the 2 year old and time for bed for the 4 year old. Or "No, honey, we aren't going to Chuck E. Cheese." The devil returns. It's an attitude that drives me to the brink.
Ah, I miss smoking. Where did I put my special juice?
Posted by: Cherub | 10/10/2006 at 10:12 AM
I have one a lot like Mrs. CPA's. His brother, however, has the lowest threshold for howling. He also has a really quick recovery time, which makes the overall effect hilarious. When I have to move his toy from one hand to the other to put his sleeves on, there is a microsecond when the toy is in neither hand. No matter how short the interval, he can fit a piercing scream in there.
Posted by: fellowmom | 10/10/2006 at 01:28 PM
No sometimes I think you are writing about my sweet little angel when you write about Riley. My hubby says that our child is bi-polar he can go from happy and squealing with delight to screaming and wailing in 2 seconds flat.
Posted by: sunShine | 10/10/2006 at 02:00 PM